Inspired by Rich Santos from Marie Claire’s article (http://bit.ly/djfezx), I decided to create a list of The 9 Deadliest Mommy Sins (because a 10th one was too hard to think of)…
1. Friend Abandonment – You get married and have had a child or two and realize, I haven’t talked to my girlfriends in 3 years. Most friends that have traveled down the same road of love/marriage/baby carriage will understand. The ones that are single will not. In their minds you have moved off to Pleasantville, USA, never to be heard of again. To them you are only as good as the last happy hour you attended. So before you send that Snapfish link of 175 bathtub shots of your kids, you might want to start with a simple phone call.
2. Email Forwards – Sending someone an email forward is not keeping in contact. Even if its “National Girlfriend’s Day” or a long poem about how “Good Friends Like You are Hard To Find”. Nothing is more annoying than receiving a flurry of email forwards (blind copied at that) about how special you are and never receiving one piece of personalized correspondence. Send a text, a note card with 9 words on it or even a 30 second phone call that says, “I’m at the park with the kids and I don’t have much time, but wanted to let you know that I miss you and we should put a date on the calendar”.
3. Bragging – OK, so your baby is pulling up 5 weeks ahead of schedule. Perhaps he can now eat with a fork and knife. Save those Einsteinian stories for family members who ask. Everyone doesn’t need to know that Junior potty-trained himself. Especially if no one ever asked.
4. Pretending – Motherhood is hard. You don’t have to pretend to be a perfect Stepford wife. Admit your struggles and pains. It not only makes you more endearing, but you are more likely to find someone to either commiserate or help you find a solution to some of your issues.
5. Keeping Up With the Joneses – Daycare costs thousands. Those Gymboree classes cost more than my monthly membership at LA Fitness. I’m not ashamed to admit that I can’t afford to buy much for myself these days. But those who pretend to live a flamboyant lifestyle, but are secretively stressed finacially are only fooling themselves. DON’T lease a Lexus SUV for 3 years if can’t afford it. Your kids will destroy the car and you will have to pay more money when you turn it back in. You don’t need Tom Ford sunglasses when your kids are going to bend the arms back on them and eventually break them. Little Emma does not need a Burberry coat for preschool. She needs a 529 savings account. You are only rich when you live BELOW your means.
6. Raising Wild Animals - If you are unable to control and properly discipline your children you are at risk for raising a wild animal. These wild animals wind up going to school with my children. My children try to mimic the same behavior at home and then I have to deal with it. Teach your children, while they are young, to be respectful and kind. Your job as a parent is to guide them and nurture them. We are raising human beings, not jackals.
7. Be The Overwhelmed Mom – Mommy needs a cocktail every once and a while…well, this mommy does. So when I am feeling particularly overwhelmed, I ask for help. I’m blessed in the fact that my husband can handle both of our children all day, if need be. Some people are not in that position, but perhaps a mother’s helper can assist. A mother’s helper is a 12 or 13-year old neighborhood child that can play with your kids (while you are still in the house) and help you out when you need a hand. Every mom needs to have personal time. Even if its just a moment in the bathroom without someone busting in asking, “Mommy, what are you doing?’.
8. Avoid Having A Date Night – Do you still like your mate? If you want to continue (or start) liking one another, you should really take time for just the two of you…and no, 10 minutes before you both pass out in bed doesn’t count. Yes, we are in a recession, but there are tons of really inexpensive things that you can do together. All relationships need to be nurtured.
9. Lack A Spiritual Center – I’m sure this is controversial, but I will speak from personal experience. If it had not been for God, I’m sure I would choked all of the people who annoyed me in life. I have been a Christian since birth. Went through the whole cycle of disbelief and doing things my own way and saw how it wreaked havoc on my life. When I got up off of my face and had my encounter with God, there was only one way for me to live my life, which is how I and my entire family operate. I don’t know what your beliefs are, if any, but I do know that without a spiritual compass of some sort you are directionless.
* Disclaimer, I am not an expert, just a mom with an opinion. I’d love to hear yours – good, bad or indifferent.
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